We've got a Stage 4 crier over here Ms. S!

It's not that I'm insensitive, I just don't really like the sound of crying.  I think it's an allergy or something.  Elementary age kids are still learning how to handle their emotions, and the first response is to "cry now, think later".  

• Sometimes when kids are upset, they cry for a few minutes, and then the tears magically disappear like nothing happened.    
• Sometimes they cry for attention, which involves the "Look to see if anyone is watching and turn up the drama" strategy.  
• And then there's the "I don't feel good, but I don't know why"  
• My favorite is the "Oh crap, I'm in trouble...Quick! Cry so she feels bad!" 

Me, I don't flinch.  Crying gets ZERO response from me.  I know you are thinking that I'm mean, but I'm a big proponent of self-regulation.  And in the time it takes to stop the class to ask a kid what's wrong, the others find ways to get themselves in trouble, and then the next thing you know, everyone is crying.

So, I handle crying children much like a hostage negotiator (I've been watching a lot of Flashpoint on Netflix).  Isolate the crier, distract the rest of the class by continuing teaching (attention makes the situation worse), and then give the majority of the class a self-sufficient activity so that I can deal with the crying kid.  After that, I engage in a strategic negotiation, in attempt to restore the normal flow of my class.   

• Wait for the calm in the storm.  When an upset child is crying, all rationalizing goes out the window.  They are caught up in the moment, and they just need to scream, or snot, or tantrum, or whatever else floats their little water-logged boats.  Crying brings out the inner Hulk in some kids...there is yelling and really strong emotionally charged gestures.  So, I choose to wait until they are back on the shore of rational thought, before I engage, because I really don't like being shouted at (or snotted on).   So, I let my crying friend have their moment, but out of view of the rest of the class.
• Evaluate the situation.  Once the child is calm, I inquire about the issue at hand, very non-judgementally.  This usually garners one of two responses:  a) "I'M STILL MAD AND I'M GOING TO SCREAM WHILE I TELL YOU WHAT _____________ DID TO ME!"   or, b) I'm not ready to talk...I"m still mad, but I know you will walk away if I start flipping out again...so give me a few minutes to get my mind right, and come back".   I'm sure you noticed that both these scenarios involve me walking back to the rest of the class.  
• Set the ground rules.  Once my crier is calm and ready to talk, I set the rules; no screaming at me, or I walk away, no pointing at other students, and NO LIES.  I want the whole story, not just the part where the crier got upset.  This usually takes another 5-10 minutes and involves me walking away at least twice before getting the story.
• Get the facts.   This part takes the longest, because sometimes children do not want to give the whole story, especially if there were two wrongs involved.  There might be some walking away involved here also, so that my crier can get their story straight.  
• Resolve Sometimes the whole issue was just a misunderstanding.  Most of the time, it's something so minor, that after we resolve it, the crier realizes that they missed the whole class because they were crying.  In the more serious cases, there is usually a mediation and apologies are exchanged.  And not just a wimpy "I'm sorry" either.

What is the rest of the class doing?  Having a grand-old-tear-free-time making music...I mean, that's what they came to do right?