Summer Camp Chronicles: Boys are gross.

One of the great things about being at camp as long as I have is that my campers (even my new ones) are very comfortable with me.

This is also one of the most awkward parts, because with comfort comes OVERSHARING.  With girls, overshare has to do with telling everyone's business (and then being mad later that everyone knows...).

But with boys, it almost always has to do with bodily functions.

In elementary school, kids giggle about farts and/or are super embarrassed.  They always laugh when someone mentions the word "poop", and blush at the thought of people thinking that they poop.

Apparently in 7th and 8th grade, that changes. Teenage boys still laugh, but they relish in freely sharing their fumes and bodily function tales with everyone.

Here are a few disgusting examples from this summer so far...

(during manhunt)
Oversharing Boy: Are they coming yet?  I really have to poop!"
Me:  My mom says it's not healthy to hold it in...maybe you should just go
Oversharing Boy: (pauses contemplatively) Nevermind, it was just gas.


(getting ready for art)
"Ugh...I have to fart. pauses...It smells."


(while repeatedly smelling his own socks) 
"MAN!  My socks stink!  They got wet after pool and mixed with the sweat!  OMG! That is disgusting!"


(comes to sit right next to me)
Me: What's wrong?
Prince Charming: Nothing.
Me: So...you just want to sit next me?
Prince Charming: Yep.
5 minutes later...
Prince Charming: Uh oh...I think I have to fart.
Me: Well, can you please take that somewhere else.
Prince Charming: Too late...see you later!
Bystanding girl:  (disgusted) DID HE JUST FART AND LEAVE? HE'S SO GROSS!

 Boys. They are gross. 

Summer Camp Chronicles: What's your "ship" name?

Normally I save my summer camp post for August, but this group is already quite vivacious.

Last week, my girls educated me on "Ship" names.  "Ship" is short for relationship.  You would think that you only get a ship name if you are actually in a relationSHIP.  But no...it apparently does not quite work that way...

The rules of "ship" names (as told by 8th grade girls)

You can have a "ship" name if ANY of the following apply

• You like a guy
• A guy makes it known that he likes you
• A guy likes you, but you don't like him
• is actually your boyfriend
• "Ship" names are best when the ending combination is something cute, or actual word.   

Dan + Tori= Dori  

This example was followed by, "Awwww!  And then they should go see Finding Dory!  That would be like, so adorable!"

• "Ship" names are NOT good if they sound like a disease or if your names just don't "flow" nicely.  

Michael + Jennifer = Mennifer?  Jenichael?  Michifer?

Who knew I would learn so much during my first week of camp?

What's your "ship" name?  

NEW LOOK!

Yes, you're in the right place!  I decided it was time for a new look on the blog.

School year is almost over...the kids have been in rare form lately (Mercury in retrograde maybe?)...so I'm sure they will be full of hilarious tidbits to share!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker...I DON'T need Match(.com)

I cannot remember ever asking my teachers any really personal questions about their lives.  I guess I just never thought about it.  

My third graders apparently LIVE to ask me personal questions.  I'm starting to think that the highlight of their days are to see how much information they can learn about their music teacher...

Dr. Love: Ms. S, do you have a son?

Me: Umm...no.  Who keeps spreading these child rumors around?

National Enquirer: YEA, and besides, she's single. Wait, are you married yet?
Me: No, I'm not married. 

Dr. Love: Have you ever heard of Match.com?

Me: (::internal forehead smack::) Yes.

Dr. Love: You should go on there. My Aunt met this really great guy.

Me: I don't need Match.

Dr. Love: But you need to find love!

Me: What makes you think I haven't found it?

N.E.: Are you ever going to get married?

Me: Yes, one day, I will get married...eventually.

Dr. Love:  Well who is your love?

While I was slightly mortified that my students think I'm some lonely music teacher with no life and no "love"...it is comforting to know that they think enough of me to feel that I shouldn't be alone.  

#adorable

More adventures in math tutoring...

Today was a milestone moment for me...

Me (after confiscating my 2nd Rubix cube of the day): WHAT is with the Rubix cubes!!!!

Wise beyond her years: I don't know, but they are annoying.

Broken Foot: It's all because that one kid solved it, and now they all are doing it.

Me: You realize that he watched a YouTube video right? He didn't solve anything. He cheated. When I was a kid, we had to actually figure out how to do it...

Man of few words: Oh, back in B.I. right Ms. Sobers?

Me: B.I???

Man of few words: You know, B.I. Before Internet.

It happened. My "back in my day" moment has finally come.

How to get sent home from school...

Last night I took an Advil Cold and Sinus for allergy pain last night before bed. Pain was gone (yay Advil)...but so was my will to sleep (Ugh...sudafed).  

I maybe fell asleep around 3 something...which would be great if it was still the weekend. But it's Monday.

So...I was operating on almost no sleep...which in turn just made me feel icky and grumpy...even with coffee.  Of course, my students picked up on it right away.  

Concerned student: Ms. S, why are you in a bad mood?

Me: I'm not...I'm just tired and I don't feel well.

Concerned student: Why didn't you just stay home?

Me: It's more work to stay home. Then I have to write something for a sub. It was easier to just show up.

Concerned student: 😞 Oh yeah.

Problem solver extraordinaire: Just tell them you puked. Then they have to let you go home 😁.

Clearly they know all the secrets lol...

Adventures in Math Tutoring

As we prepare for testing season, I volunteered to tutor 5th grade math.  I work with the high group, that mainly just needs clarification and review help.  They are very interesting characters...and apparently now they are in full middle school preparation mode...

In today's episode of Math tutoring with Ms. S...

Boy: Hey M...

Prepper: HEY YOUR FACE!

Me: Ummmmm...what is wrong with you?

Prepper: Sorry, I'm practicing my comebacks for middle school

Me: Seriously? You don't want to go to middle school and be known as the crazy girl who flips out on people. No one will talk to you.

Prepper: I have to have comebacks in case someone says something mean to me.

Me: Well, what happens when they comeback to your comeback and your feelings get hurt? It will happen...it's middle school...

Sporty Spice: You should listen to Ms. S. She knows what she's talking about.

Girl with Too much 'tude: You wanna practice right now? What if someone says...

Me: ORDER OF OPERATIONS! Because that's what we are doing...

I refrained from telling them that there are only two words you need for a successful comeback. However, seeing as those two words can very likely get you punched in the face...I kept it to myself.

The E is silent...

At the beginning of every school year, all the teachers make a neat little poster/display which shows what we did over summer break.  After September, I got mine back and put it up on my chalkboard.

Well, over the summer, I work at a camp.  So on Friday, as they were waiting to get picked up, my 3rd graders were interrogating me about why I work more than one job...

Headhunter:  So you have THREE jobs?   

Me: Well...sort of...I guess...

Headhunter:  You're a music teacher AND a fitness person AND now you work at a camp too?

Me: Yes...that is correct.  

So then...they decided to ask me all of these questions about camp.  Where is it? Why do you work there?  Is it fun?  And then there was this...

Sweet curious girl:  Ms. S, why is it called 'Brown Camp'?

Headhunter: So it's named after a color??

Me: Not sure...that's the name of the school though, so I guess that's why.

Sweet curious girl: Oh ok.  I thought it was maybe because you are brown.

Me:  Oh...well the E is silent.  It's BrownE with a silent E.  There's a silent E there.  Not like the color....because there's a silent E.  

Students in line: Ohhhhhhhh okay... 

It always amazes me how some of the most innocent moments can be so awkward (for me...not them), yet still hilarious.  Kid logic.    

I'll be back soon :)

So...I've been swamped.  It's my fifth year, and I feel like I know what I'm doing...but now I feel even more busy!  

At any rate...we've been missing a lot of school due to snow lately, and my schedule is all thrown off...BUT...I will be sure to be back soon with the latest hilarity from my little people!