Summer Camp Chronicles: Boys are gross.

One of the great things about being at camp as long as I have is that my campers (even my new ones) are very comfortable with me.

This is also one of the most awkward parts, because with comfort comes OVERSHARING.  With girls, overshare has to do with telling everyone's business (and then being mad later that everyone knows...).

But with boys, it almost always has to do with bodily functions.

In elementary school, kids giggle about farts and/or are super embarrassed.  They always laugh when someone mentions the word "poop", and blush at the thought of people thinking that they poop.

Apparently in 7th and 8th grade, that changes. Teenage boys still laugh, but they relish in freely sharing their fumes and bodily function tales with everyone.

Here are a few disgusting examples from this summer so far...

(during manhunt)
Oversharing Boy: Are they coming yet?  I really have to poop!"
Me:  My mom says it's not healthy to hold it in...maybe you should just go
Oversharing Boy: (pauses contemplatively) Nevermind, it was just gas.


(getting ready for art)
"Ugh...I have to fart. pauses...It smells."


(while repeatedly smelling his own socks) 
"MAN!  My socks stink!  They got wet after pool and mixed with the sweat!  OMG! That is disgusting!"


(comes to sit right next to me)
Me: What's wrong?
Prince Charming: Nothing.
Me: So...you just want to sit next me?
Prince Charming: Yep.
5 minutes later...
Prince Charming: Uh oh...I think I have to fart.
Me: Well, can you please take that somewhere else.
Prince Charming: Too late...see you later!
Bystanding girl:  (disgusted) DID HE JUST FART AND LEAVE? HE'S SO GROSS!

 Boys. They are gross. 

Summer Camp Chronicles: What's your "ship" name?

Normally I save my summer camp post for August, but this group is already quite vivacious.

Last week, my girls educated me on "Ship" names.  "Ship" is short for relationship.  You would think that you only get a ship name if you are actually in a relationSHIP.  But no...it apparently does not quite work that way...

The rules of "ship" names (as told by 8th grade girls)

You can have a "ship" name if ANY of the following apply

• You like a guy
• A guy makes it known that he likes you
• A guy likes you, but you don't like him
• is actually your boyfriend
• "Ship" names are best when the ending combination is something cute, or actual word.   

Dan + Tori= Dori  

This example was followed by, "Awwww!  And then they should go see Finding Dory!  That would be like, so adorable!"

• "Ship" names are NOT good if they sound like a disease or if your names just don't "flow" nicely.  

Michael + Jennifer = Mennifer?  Jenichael?  Michifer?

Who knew I would learn so much during my first week of camp?

What's your "ship" name?  

Things teenagers say...Part II

This summer, I reprised my role as a camp counselor, and once again...the teens did not disappoint with their colorful sayings and personalities.  Even though this group was VERY different than the group from last summer, there was no shortage of notable moments :)

I will say though, this summer was awesome.  I'm not sure if it was the kids, or that I was just ready for them this time :-/...but nonetheless, it was pretty epic.  And here are some reasons why...

1. Kids who smile all the time are REALLY hard to get upset with.  I mean seriously...

2.  If you are a cute boy, you can get away with anything.  I literally watched the "male model" of the group peg a girl with a water balloon..and she just smiled and giggled.  Five minutes earlier, another boy hit that same girl with a balloon.  DIFFERENCE? She chased him down like he stole her purse!

3.  Secrets at camp are like the common cold.  No matter how hard you try to keep it to yourself, you're eventually going to spread it to someone else.  My girls couldn't hold water this summer;  I knew who liked who, who didn't like who, and a bunch of other stuff that I really didn't want to know!

4. Mean Girls is a cultural phenomenon.  And by that I mean, we quoted that movie at least twice a day.  Top of the list? "You can't sit with us!" and we did indeed wear pink one Wednesday :)

5. "You are not very kind" was heard all too often in our group.

6.  We had several very serious hygiene chats.  Best quote from my co-counselor, "We don't want to smell cheesesteaks! Wear deodorant!"

7.  We also had to threaten search and seizure on multiple occasions. Between swimsuits and phones, they were always trying to pull one over on us! 

Loud girl: I can't swim today, I don't have my suit.

Me: You don't have your suit, or you "don't have your suit"?

Loud Girl: No really, I forgot it.

Me: Do I need to check your bag? Let me see...

Loud Girl:  OK OK I have it!  I just don't want to swim! 

8. Key and Peele.  Between the substitute teacher, and the players from the east and west...we pretty much always got a laugh in :)

9. "Vine famous" is the new "instagram famous".

10. Want to get teenage boys to dance? Show them an old school Nsync video, and tell them to channel their inner boy band.  It also helps to have screaming girls for added emphasis.

All in all, it was a great summer.  And now it's time to get ready for my little ones again :)  

Things teenagers say...

During the summer, I spend eight weeks as a camp counselor, and this year I had the lovely privilege of working with the 12 & 13 year old group.  

Now, remember...I teach elementary school...so teenagers are a whole new ball game.  Nevertheless, it was quite an experience and here's what I learned...

1. Say "hashtag" before you say something important. #theywilllisten
2. ILYSM means I love you so much.  
3. Teenagers speak a different language.
• "Do I look crusty?"
• "Stop being so ratchet!
• "You are the queen of ratchetness."
• "GURL, Chill your dill!" 
• "We were just YOLOing!"
4. It is in fact possible to be "Instagram famous".  
5. They say whatever comes to mind...no matter how strange or inappropriate at the time...
• "How do babies poop in their mom's belly? Do they come out covered in crap?" 
• "MY UTERUS IS BLEEDING!"
• "If you lay on the floor and your lower back touches, you don't have a butt."
• "I really need to defecate."
6. Personal space is a foreign concept to them...
• "I love sniffing you."
• "Your skin feels like play dough."
• "I've known you longer than your boyfriend."
• "I'm googling you RIGHT now." 
7. Teenage relationships are ridiculously complicated.
• "I'm so frustrated! I like this guy and I don't know what to do! Help me!"
• "OMG I told her I like him and now she's flirting with him!" 
• "Honestly at this point in my life, I'm just looking for a hot guy with a six-pack."
8. Teenage girls are ALWAYS in a glass case of emotion.  First they are mad, then they are screaming, then crying and then the next thing you know, they hug you like nothing happened.  It's so confusing.  
9. Teenagers have to do stuff when they want to...not when you want them to, otherwise you will most likely hear..."OMG you're so annoying!" 
10. Know the current pop culture trends...
• "You don't know what Vine/Instagram/SnapChat is? You're so old!"
• Me:  Ummm...guys, what's a "thun thun"? Blonde guy: I don't know...but whatever it is...DON'T DROP IT!  

Overall, we had a great summer, and I absolutely loved my crazy teenagers...but I'll be glad to get back to my little ones soon!